Daily Jokes

I think we should have a daily joke section which includes and general puns and humorous observations. Bad Dad jokes get an extra 50 points.

I’ll kick start it off with a couple of observational jokes;

I’m suspicious about those “thermometers” they aim your forehead to make sure you’re healthy. I think it’s a government plot to erase your memory. Like today when I went to the market for a pint of milk and some orange juice and came home with 5 bottles of wine and 12 cans of larger.

Rage Against the Machine never specified what type of machine they were furious with but I reckon it was probably a printer…

The train conductor said, “You’re the worst engineer ever. How many trains have you derailed this year?” The engineer replied, “I dunno. It’s hard to keep track!”

Boy: “Let’s play firetruck.” Girl: “How do you play firetruck?” Boy: “I run my hand up your leg and you say ‘red light’ when you want me to stop.” Girl: “Okay.” A few seconds later. Girl: “Red light!” Boy: “Don’t you know? Firetrucks don’t stop for red lights?!”

Betsy was cranky because her husband was late coming home again tonight. She left him a note: “I’ve had enough. I’ve left you. Don’t come after me!” and then she hid under the bed to watch his reaction. When he got home, she heard him enter the bedroom and pick up the note. Soon he wrote something on it, then called someone and said, “She’s finally gone. Yeah, I know. It’s about time. I’m coming to pick you up. Put on something sexy! I love you.” He then grabbed his keys and left. When she heard his car drive off, she came out from under the bed, seething with rage, tears in her eyes. She grabbed the note and read, “I can see your feet! Don’t be ridiculous. We’re out of coffee. Back in ten minutes.”

These all need their own threads.

Would that not swamp general chat? Unless you make a section “Jokes/Funnies” or something. But you the boss.

I swap jokes with Al Lowe, creator of many classic games like Leisure Suit Larry. We get a kick out of them so thought I would pass them on in the PNUK online pub.